I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
