New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
