i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
