ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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