Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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