Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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