Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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