did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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