i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
