just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
