i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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