I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
