If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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