I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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