It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
