Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
