I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
