We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
