She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
