I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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