I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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