That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
