my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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