Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I smell stomach acid.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
