yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
