I want to stick my p in your. b.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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