did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
