do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
