she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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