I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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