He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
