This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
