I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
