I just threw up on my dentist
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
