everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
