just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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