I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
