im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
