just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
