Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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