We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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