weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
