Can i not drive my cunt home
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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