RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
