you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
