um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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