If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
