We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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