i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
