It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
