I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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