a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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