my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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