Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
