if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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