Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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