she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
