Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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