Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
