Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
