My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
