I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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