you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
