life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
