You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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