Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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