Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
