So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Who died my cat blue again?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
