There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
