you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize