Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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