I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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