And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
