yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
